This talk is a personal journey through three decades of a language that started as a 10-day experiment and somehow became the most deployed runtime on the planet. I'll take you through the eras that shaped my relationship with JavaScript: from fighting type coercion and the DOM in the 90s, through the magic of jQuery, to Node and React and TypeScript and beyond. We'll look into the genius of JavaScript's design, as well at its utter idiocy. We'll laugh, we'll cry, we'll have epiphanies and disappointments.